Ever since my brother left for college, I've been center stage with the spotlight drowning me in bright light. My parents have finally been able to focus on just me, playing games with me, and making sure that I fit into their busy schedules. I'll admit, it felt pretty good. Like they were raising me high on a pedestal and gazing at me with wide eyes as if I was some sort of exotic and rare species, rather than a shadow. You see, I've always been cloaked in my siblings' shadows because of my maturity and self-discipline. I've never been the one they've needed to focus their attention on or worry about because they already knew I was alright. Often times, I find myself pondering situations in which would worry my parents, but I know I will never actually act upon those thoughts.
This winter I've been wearing the cloak of concealment yet again because my brother is back home on break. He is transferring from one college to another, and my mother is terribly worried about the neighborhood he is about to move in to. Not to mention the lack of transportation, prolonged distances, and obvious carelessness on my brothers' behalf. Dinner tonight was one of those times. My parents were attempting for the umpteenth time to convince my brother that he should just stay at his old college, but he was dead-set on moving, and I knew that nothing they said was going to suddenly make him have a change of heart. I finished eating my food and left the dinner table, unnoticed by my family.
I'm not upset, angry, or disappointed in my parent's actions, that night or any other time, I know that they don't intentionally see through me. I guess I just have to get accustomed to always sharing the spotlight with my family. I'd like to think of them as actors in my story, but we're really one big spotlight sharing story for the world to see. And in our story, the curtains are always open, and the stage is always set.
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